I’ll start on a productive note. Look! Sock progress!
front-side of sock
Moving on to what is really on my mind… A while back, where while is somewhere between three years and three months, it occurred to me that I have a great affinity for Shiva’s dance of destruction. Which would be fine, except that I do very little work with Brahma (the creator) or Vishnu (the preserver). The result being that the record of my life is skipping on a refrain “let go, let go, tapas!”, perhaps because there is no next verse, and this refrain is getting very old.
I am so thoroughly aware of my patterns — at this point when I see them playing out, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry — that I just don’t see how I can do any more work with them. I’m done. Let’s move on, already. But I just. don’t. know. how.
Cyclical things are happening. This, I remember, was three years ago. It was approximately then that I decided that my life needed to be even more internal, and when I look back at that now the only reaction I have is a very loud internal guffaw. At that time, I worked from home. I had just moved to Minneapolis. I was living alone. Winter was fast approaching. And I wanted my life to be MORE internal. The amazing thing is that I managed to pull that off.
Previous to this, I was nicely balancing out my usual antisocial proclivities with some inspiring work in the techy activist world. I mention this because, strangely, I find myself in this sphere again. Suddenly, I am looking at these issues of access and equality and how they play out in IT, and it has all become just a little bit more interesting with the rampant growth of the social networking industry. But I won’t go into that now.
So, cycles. “I went through three years of intense self-examination and self-work, and all I got was this lousy blog.” Just kidding. I hope.
Hey, and I’m knitting socks!
back-side